Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse and Molestation

As accusations of child abuse emerge with alarming regularity across the country, Sri Lanka is experiencing a nationwide crisis of child abuse. Over 2,500 incidences of child abuse were reported to the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) in the first 60 days of 2020, while 5,242 cases were reported by July 2020. On average, its child abuse hotline, ‘1929,’ receives roughly 40 reports every day. According to the Stop Child Cruelty Trust, there were over 17,000 instances of child abuse blocked at the Attorney General’s Department at the end of 2017, with some cases extending back ten years. By the end of 2018, this figure was thought to have increased to around 20,000. While child abuse can be both physical maltreatment or sexual molestation of a child most of the child abuse incidents reported in Sri Lanka involve sexual molestation or abuse.

Considering these troubling statistics, how confident are you that your child will never fall victim to sexual abuse or molestation? Have you taken time to seriously reflect on this possibility? While it’s an uncomfortable topic, ignoring it only increases the risk. Child abuse, in any form, is a terrible violation of trust and innocence. But more importantly, we must remember that safeguarding a child’s well-being is first and foremost the responsibility of the parents or guardians. No teacher, counselor, or law enforcement officer can provide the kind of consistent vigilance and protection that a parent can. In a world where abuse can occur even in seemingly safe environments, awareness and proactive steps are critical. That’s why today, I want to share a few practical and essential measures that you, as a parent, can take to shield your son or daughter from the horrors of sexual abuse and unwanted advances.

Note: Legally speaking the terms “sexual molestation” and “sexual abuse” have distinctive meanings. While a pattern of perverted sexual behavior that persists over a period is called sexual abuse, molestation is used to refer to a single or isolated incident of sexual abuse. Child molestation is also only used to describe a sex crime committed against a small child, (including babies) while child sexual abuse is a sex crime against older children and teenagers. Legally the actions mentioned below are considered but not limited to sexual abuse and molestation of children. Touching a child’s genital area or a female child’s breasts, fondling a child, forcing a child to perform oral sex penetration, rape or attempted rape, sodomy, child pornography, non-touching offenses, such as indecent exposure, exposing a child to pornography, and masturbating in front of a child.

Teach the basics of Human Sexuality

In Sri Lanka, parents and children don’t talk about human sexuality because it’s considered taboo. Therefore, sex education in Sri Lanka rests in a dysfunctional state because nothing much is done to meet this need in schools either other than suppressing any efforts to meet the need. Nevertheless, the safety of your child must begin at home, and teaching the basics of human sexuality is a good point to start. Check my post “How to Talk to Your Children about Sex in Sri Lanka?” if you are not sure how to do it.

Make Your Home or Family Functional

In Sri Lanka, most victims of child sexual abuse and molestation are from dysfunctional homes. When the home is not a loving and affectionate place they start searching for love and affection elsewhere eventually becoming victims of a predator relative or a close friend of the family. I can’t tell you how to make your family functional or your home warm and welcoming but if you are a single parent or your family is dysfunctional do keep in mind that your children are at great risk.

Don’t undress before your Children

I have met mothers who have told me they change clothes in the presence of their little children because it will reduce their curiosity about the female body thus affecting possible attraction to pornography when they grow up. The problem with this approach is that even if someone who is not your child’s mother exposes him or herself to your child, he will consider it normal. Therefore, don’t change clothes in front of your children. There are other ways to keep them away from porn.

Pay close attention to warning Signs

Pay attention to these signs in your child. These are warning signs of abuse or molestation. Physical signs, such as genital injuries or bloody undergarments, sexually transmitted diseases, or teen pregnancy, an unusual or inappropriate knowledge of sexual subjects for the child’s age, emotional or behavioral problems (ex: anxiety, nightmares, or depression), outbursts of aggression, regression (mainly in small children), fear of being alone with a certain adult, reduced performance in school or bullying.

Monitor and Control Online Activity

Sexual predators often use pornography to groom their targets. Now Internet filters were effective when your child’s online activity was limited to the living room PC. Not anymore. With a mobile device, your child can access the internet from virtually anywhere. With social media being used for marketing pornography filters are becoming less effective. Hence, you cannot dismiss the importance of monitoring and controlling your child’s online activity manually.

Tip: You can still signup for a free solution like OpenDNS Family Shield or OpenDNS Home but don’t trust your child’s safety entirely to another online service. Children can get around these fences easily.

Learn to Listen with Understanding

Children need to be assured they will be heard, and their concerns will be understood. Children don’t talk about their abusers unless they know their voice will be heard and their concerns will be understood. For instance, if you blame your child for getting bullied at school, he will not tell you even if someone made sexual advances against him. Therefore, learn to listen with understanding and let your children know their voices will be heard and their concerns will be understood. You are your child’s most powerful guardian.

Wrap Up

Prevention is always better than cure, especially when it comes to protecting children from sexual abuse. While it may not be possible to eliminate the risk entirely, there are proactive steps parents can take to significantly reduce the chances of such an incident ever occurring. Teaching your child about appropriate and inappropriate behavior, setting clear boundaries, maintaining open communication, and being actively involved in their daily life are vital strategies. Knowing who your child interacts with, both in person and online, is essential in today’s digital age. Encourage your child to speak up if something feels wrong or uncomfortable. Equip them with the confidence to say “no” and report anything suspicious. Remember, the goal is not to instill fear but to empower your child with the knowledge and courage to protect themselves. As a parent, your vigilance and involvement can create a powerful shield of safety around your child.

However, if the unthinkable happens and your child becomes a victim of sexual abuse, it’s crucial to act swiftly and decisively. The first step is to ensure the abuse stops immediately by reporting it to the appropriate law enforcement or child protection authorities. Once safety is secured, focus your efforts on your child’s healing process. Emotional and psychological recovery takes time, compassion, and often professional help. Be patient and present, offering unconditional support and reassurance. You don’t have to face this situation alone—there are individuals and organizations equipped to help you navigate the healing journey. If you feel overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, I invite you to reach out to me via email; I would be more than happy to offer guidance. In everything, never forget that you are your child’s most powerful guardian. Your strength, action, and love can help your child find peace and restore their sense of safety.

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