Choosing Life: A Second Thought on Suicide

Update: This article was revised on July 17, 2024. The title was changed from “Contemplating Suicide? Contemplate Again!” to “Choosing Life: A Second Thought on Suicide.”

Suicide poses a grave and pervasive challenge to our island nation today. Dr Neil Fernando, head of the National Institute of Mental Health, emphasized back in September 2011 that nearly 4,000 Sri Lankans succumb to suicide annually. In the year 2020 alone, the Sri Lanka Police reported an alarming 3,074 suicides. This figure is deeply troubling, reflecting a stark reality where lives are lost prematurely and families are left devastated. Among these tragic statistics, 2,484 were male and 590 were female. Shockingly, even children aged between 8 and 16 accounted for 86 of these deaths, highlighting the heartbreaking impact across all age groups. The gravity of the situation is further underscored by the current suicide rate of 15 per 100,000 people. This metric, while statistical, represents profound human suffering and indicates a pressing need for intervention and support.

This enduring crisis demands attention not only in terms of public health but also in terms of the emotional and social fabric of our communities. For anyone contemplating suicide today, I implore you to pause and reconsider. The decision to end one’s life is often influenced by overwhelming distress and a sense of hopelessness. However, there are avenues of support and resources available to help navigate through these challenging times. Seeking assistance from loved ones, mental health professionals, or helplines can provide a lifeline and a path towards healing. Each life lost is not just a number but a profound loss to families, friends, and society as a whole. Hence this article titled “Choosing Life: A Second Thought on Suicide.” If you are contemplating suicide right now, and reading this article I sincerely hope these thoughts of mine will help you decide to give life another chance.

Suicide is unfair to your Family

If you’re considering suicide today as a solution to your current struggles, it’s crucial to understand that ending your life doesn’t just affect you—it deeply impacts those who care about you, especially your family. They will be left emotionally devastated, grappling with the permanent absence of your presence in their lives. Socially, they may face stigma and judgment from a society that often places blame and shame on those connected to suicide. In a culture like Sri Lanka, where shame can profoundly influence social dynamics, this can compound their pain.

Practically, your family may also endure financial hardships, particularly if you are a primary breadwinner or contribute significantly to the household income. These consequences highlight that your decision to end your life extends far beyond yourself. When the urge to end your life arises, I urge you to consider the ripple effect it will have on your loved ones. They will be the ones left to navigate the aftermath, carrying the burden of your absence and the societal perceptions that may follow. Taking a moment to reflect on their well-being and seeking support can help you find a way forward through the challenges you face.

A Deadly Role Model to Follow

A “Role Model,” as defined in dictionaries, is someone whose behaviour, example, or achievements others, especially younger people, look up to and may seek to emulate. Experts have observed a troubling trend: suicides among adults can lead to higher rates of suicide among teenagers. When an adult takes their own life, they inadvertently become a perilous role model that younger generations might follow. This sets a dangerous precedent, suggesting to others that suicide is a viable answer to life’s challenges. Choosing suicide implies that it’s the ultimate solution, not just for oneself but as a pattern for others to follow. It disregards the complexities of life and the potential for change and growth.

When faced with overwhelming despair, it’s crucial to remember that the impact of suicide extends beyond one’s own life. It can shatter the lives of family members, friends, and even strangers who might be influenced by your actions. Instead of succumbing to despair, consider reaching out for help and support. Speaking with loved ones, seeking guidance from mental health professionals, or contacting helplines can provide perspective and assistance during difficult times. By choosing to confront challenges and seek help, you not only preserve your own life but also contribute to a community where hope and resilience can prevail over despair.

Our Emotions are Deceptive

I understand because I have experienced that same urge at some point in my life. When the urge passed, I realized I didn’t actually want to die. Emotions can be incredibly deceptive. Whether it’s fear, disappointment, frustration, or anger, these feelings can cloud our judgment and aren’t always trustworthy. Think about people who have attempted suicide and survived. Many of them develop a profound appreciation for life and a strong desire to continue living. This happens because our emotions are temporary and can shift quickly. In a moment of despair, it might seem like ending your life is the only way out, but that feeling doesn’t reflect your true, long-term desire to live.

I may not know the specifics of your situation, but I do know that you deserve to live. Life is full of ups and downs, and while the lows can feel unbearable, they are not permanent. When you feel overwhelmed, it’s important to remember that your emotions are not always reliable and don’t always have your best interests at heart. The intensity of your feelings can make it hard to see the bigger picture. Next time you have the urge to take your life, remind yourself that this is a temporary state. Reaching out for help, whether by talking to someone you trust or seeking professional support, can make a significant difference. You are valuable, and your life is worth fighting for. By choosing to seek support and hold on through the tough times, you open yourself up to the possibility of brighter days ahead.

Every problem has a Solution

Right now, your pain might feel overwhelming and permanent. But the truth is, it isn’t. Emotions can be incredibly deceptive, creating the illusion that there’s no way out of your situation. In reality, every problem has a solution, even if it’s not immediately apparent. The problem is that emotions like fear, frustration, disappointment, and anger can cloud your judgment, making you believe that suicide is the only solution and the only way to relieve your pain. When you’re in the depths of despair, it’s easy to feel trapped and hopeless. However, it’s important to remember that these emotions are temporary. They don’t reflect the entirety of your situation or your future.

The urge to end your life is based on the false premise that there is no other way out, but this is not true. Next time you feel the urge to take your life, remind yourself that suicide is a fake but permanent solution to a real but temporary problem. Virtually every problem has a solution, even if it takes time and support to find it. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can help you see through the fog of your emotions and find a path forward. You are not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help. By choosing to seek support and hold on through the tough times, you give yourself the chance to experience the solutions and relief that are out there. Life is worth fighting for, and your pain, no matter how intense, will pass.

Wrap Up

Sharing suicidal thoughts and feelings with someone you trust is a crucial first step in overcoming the urge to end your life. This trusted person could be at the other end of a helpline, a family member, a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counsellor. Many individuals are ready and willing to support you through this challenging time, even if you might not feel that way right now. Reaching out can be daunting, but it is an important act of courage and self-preservation. By talking to someone, you allow yourself to be heard and understood, which can significantly ease the weight of your emotions. If you feel the need to speak with a trained counsellor, consider calling Lanka Life Line at 0707-112112 or “Sumithrayo” at +94 11 2 682535 or +94 11 2 682570.

These services are staffed by compassionate professionals who can provide the support and guidance you need. If you’re not comfortable calling, you might consider writing to someone who can connect you with the right resources. Feel free to drop me an email, and I will do my best to link you with people who are both willing and capable of helping you. It’s essential to remember that reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are not alone, and there are numerous people and resources available to help you navigate through this difficult period. Taking the step to share your thoughts and feelings is the beginning of your journey toward healing and finding solutions to the problems you’re facing. In case you missed it, I also recommend reading my previous post, “Thinking of an Affair? Think Again,” which discusses the importance of making thoughtful decisions even in challenging times.

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